V 1.
From Paul, a prisoner of Jesus Christ, and our colleague Timothy, to Philemon our dear friend and fellow-worker,

This is Paul's normal greeting that he often used to begin his letters. He identifies himself and his credentials. This time, he is reminding Philemon, the person he's writing to, that he is currently in prison because of his work for Christ.  He mantins Timothy because Timothy would have beenwas probably with him when he met Philemon - or at least Philemon knew and respected Timothy as a fellow worker for Christ.  Paul considers Philemon a dear friend as well as a colleague, so perhaps they had worked closely together at some time and knew each other well.

Quest Study Bible note p 1656.  Philemon, a wealthy Christian in the church at Colosse who may have become a believer through Paul's ministry.

V 2.
and Apphia our sister, and Archippus our comrade in arms, and the congregation at your house.

Paul sends greetings to others he knew from his time with Philemon.  They may have been members of Philemon's family or of his household and members of the church which met in Philemon's home.

In the early church, in those days, churches were small groups of people from a household and friends who met in someone's home for worship, to 'break bread' (take communion together) and for fellowship and learning about the faith.  Philemon, Apphia or Archippus may have been the leader of the church that met in Philemon's home. (Not an ordained priest or minister as we know them, but people who were acknowledged to have the spiritual gift of leadership or pastoring and therefore were given the leadership of that group.  Both men and women led churches in those early times.)

V 3.
Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

A prayer of the kind Paul often sent to the churches he wrote to.

New Bible Commentary, p 1317.  Paul's greeting indicates a prayerful concern for Philemon and his Christian friends that they may understand and appreciate more fully God's grace in which they stand and the peace he has established with them.
cf. Romans 5: 1,2.  NIV. Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand.  And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God.
Romans 5: 1, 2. NLT. Therefore, since we have been made right in God's sight by faith, we have peace with God because of what Jesus Christ our Lord has done for us.  Because of our faith, Christ has brought us into this place of highest privilege where we now stand, and we confidently and joyfully look forward to sharing God's glory.

This was the understanding Paul prayed for for all his converts.  When we pray for friends and family or anyone else, it should be our first concern for them too, along with all the other things we remember to pray about on their behalf.

V 4, 5
I thank my God always when I mention you in my prayers, for I hear of your love and faith towards the Lord Jesus and towards all God's people.

As he usually does, Paul thanks God for Philemon, for his strong faith and the loving way he cares for the other Christians.  We should remember to thank God every day for those faithful people in our churches who carry the load of maintaining God's work in the local area, and dedicated Christians who carry out God's work of bringing the Gospel of his kingdom to people everywhere.  Without those faithful people throughout the ages, where would we be today?

V 6.
My prayer is that your fellowship with us in our common faith may deepen the understanding of all the blessings that our union with Christ brings us.
NLT.  You are generous because of your faith.  And I am praying that you will really put your generosity to work, for in so doing you will come to an understanding of all the good things we can do for Christ
TEV.  My prayer is that our fellowship with you as believers will bring about a deeper understanding of every blessing which we have in our life in Christ.

Paul not only thanks God for his fellow Christian workers, he also prays  for a deepening of their faith - for them to grow and mature in their faith. Paul has a specific prayer regarding Philemon, as he is preparing to make a very special and unusual request of him.  Paul is going to call on Philemon's love and generosity, but in doing so, he prays that Philemon might grow as a Christian as a result of exercising that love and generosity.  Paul understands well that when we act in Christian love towards others, we benefit in building up our own relationship with God: when we pass on God's love, some of it sticks to us!

In the church, we often have issues to resolve with our fellow Christians.  When we pray for them and with them, it makes way for God to work in that situation.

V 7.
For I am delighted and encouraged by your love; through you, my brother, God's people have been much refreshed.
NLT.  I myself have gained much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because your kindness has so often refreshed the hearts of God's people.

Paul comments on what he knows is the good work Philemon is doing for Christ and the love he shows to others in Christ's name.  This is a genuine comment, based on what Philemon actually does, not a 'buttering-up' before making his request to Philemon.  When we compliment our fellow Christians, it must be genuine and loving.

V 8, 9
Accordingly, although in Christ I might make bold to point out your duty, yet, because of that same love, I would rather appeal to you. Yes, I, Paul, ambassador as I am of Christ Jesus - and now his prisoner -
NLT.  That is why I am boldly asking a favour of you.  I could demand it in the name of Christ because it is the right thing for you to do, but because of our love, I prefer just to ask you.  So take this as a request from your friend Paul, an old man, now in prison for the sake of Jesus Christ.

Because of Philemon's wonderful Christian work and the love he has shown to others, Paul states that he feels confident that he doesn't have to 'pull rank' and order Philemon to do his Christian duty, but he can appeal to him to do what is right.

Paul knew well that it is much more effective to make a request for help rather than to give orders.  Treating people as equals and with respect is much more likely to achieve willing co-operation.

V 10, 11.
appeal to you about my child, whose father I have become in this prison.  I mean Onesimus, once so little use to you, but now useful indeed, both to you and to me.
NLT.  My plea is that you show kindness to Onesimus.  I think of him as my own son because he became a believer as a result of my ministry here in prison.  Onesimus hasn't been of much use to you in the past, but now he is very useful to both of us.

Paul now comes to the crux of his letter - Onesimus, the run-away slave, who has somehow turned up on Paul's doorstep and has been converted to Christianity.  Paul is fond enough of Onesimus to be able to think of him as a son.  Paul often referred to himself as a 'parent' in the spiritual sense to those he had converted. (eg. 1 Corinthians 4: 15, 17 & Titus 1: 4)

Onesimus obviously hadn't been a very obedient slave to Philemon. I guess he must have admitted that fact to Paul.  But now Onesimus had become a Christian, he was a changed man and would be useful to Philemon, both in working for him personally and in work for Christ.

Paul uses a play on words to add a little humour to his letter.  Humour can lighten a request that may not be popularly recieved.
Quest Study Bible note, p. 1657.  Onesimus probably had not been a model servant.  Paul admits that Onesimus may have cheated Philemon or owed him money (v 18).  Paul uses a play on words: Onesimus, meaning useful, was a common name for a slave.  But Useful had been useless.  Now that he knew Christ, however, he would be true to his name - useful again, both to Philemon and to Paul.

New Bible Commentary, p1319.  As a Phrygian slave - and they were proverbial for being unreliable and unfaithful - Onesimus had previously been useless to Philemon.  But a great change had occurred and Paul describes this by a once-now contrast.  This mighty transformation took place in Onesimus's conversion to Christ as Lord and he might now be called useful, a description that truly fits his name, for Onesimus means 'profitable' or 'useful'.

V 12.
I am sending him back to you, and in doing so I am sending a part of myself.
NLT.  I am sending him back to you, and with him comes my own heart.

As the owner of Onesimus, Philemon had the legal right to punish him severely for running away.  But how could he possibly do so when Paul talks about Onesimus like this?  Paul has made it very difficult for Philemon to do anything but what Paul would consider the 'christian' thing and forgive Onesimus.

V 13, 14
I would have liked to keep him with me, to look after me as you would wish, here in prison for the Gospel. But I would rather do nothing without your consent, so that your kindness may be a matter not of compulsion, but of your own free will.

New Bible Commentary, p 1316.  He dearly wished to keep Onesimus with him so that he might take Philemon's place at his side in the service of the gospel.  He had no right, however, to retain Onesimus.  This would not only have been illegal according to Roman law, it would also have involved a breach of Christian fellowship between himself and Philemon.

Paul also wanted everthing to be done above board - not Philemon being forced to do what is right because Onesimus was with Paul, but because Philemon freely chose to do so.  Christian brothers and sisters must never try to compel each other to comply with their wishes.  Our relationship with each other, as our relationship with God, must be based on a response to love.

V 15, 16.
For perhaps this is why you lost him for a time, that you might have him back for good, no longer as  a slave, but as more than a slave - as a dear brother, very dear indeed to me and how much dearer to you, both as man and as Christian.

Paul suggests that it might have been God's plan for Onesimus to run away, be converted and return a far better servant to Philemon.  We all know that God often works in ways we would never think of. We need to keep an open mind - keep our antennas up - so that we will be more likely to recognise God's plan in whatever happens in our lives.  We also know that, even if the initial happening is not Gd's plan, if we trust him, he can use it for our own good - our growth as his people. As a Christian, Onesimus was now a child of God, co-heir of God's kingdom with Christ, as was Philemon himself.  So, under God, they were now brothers, not master and slave.

And, once again..... how could Philemon argue this one with Paul?

V 17.
If, then, you count me partner in the faith, welcome him as you would welcome me.

Here's the request: please welcome Onesimus back as if he were a brother in Christ, not as a slave due to be punished.

Paul, like Jesus, asked that tradition be overthrown when relationships were at stake.  He was asking for something revolutionary. Jesus frequently went against the traditional rules when they interfered with loving and serviing and preaching the gospel.  It is sometimes difficult in the church for people to change the ways we do things - to go against tradition.  We often expect others to fit in with our ways of doing things, even when our ways are not best for them.  At tiems we need to consider whether the traditional ways are the best for us too!  The old ways of doing things are not necessarily the best - not always how God wants us to go.  Like Jesus and his disciples, and like Paul and Philemon, we need to be open and willing to think carefully about our traditions and our routines.  Maybe God wants us to change.

V 18. 19
And if he has done you any wrong or is in your debt, put that down to my account. Here is my signature, PAUL;  I undertake to repay - not to mention that you owe your very self to me as well.

Paul emphasises his role as a 'father' to Onesimus.  To avoid any recriminations between Philemon and Onesimus, Paul offers to take over any debt that Onesimus might owe to Philemon. When Onesimus returned, Paul wanted them both to be able to make a new start.  Paul adds his personal signature to the document as a guarantee.  He then hints that Philemon owes him one anyway, but he's not calling in that debt.  He wants Philemon to forgive Onesimus freely for his own sake, not as paying off a debt to Paul.

When we help or serve a Christian brother or sister, we don't do it to gain 'points' with them or as an insurance that they will return the favour.  No 'frequent flier points' between Christians.

New Bible Commentary, p 1320.  The message is plain.  Philemon will understand that Onesimus experienced the same grace of God when he was converted. He should receive Onesimus as a brother in Christ and not be angry with him even though there may have been good grounds for it.

V 20, 21
Now brother, as a Christian, be generous with me and relieve my anxiety; we are both in Christ! I write to you confident that you will meet my wishes; I know that you will in fact do better than I ask.

Paul knows Philemon well. He can be confident that Philemon will understand what he must do as a Christian and that he will even go the second mile as far as Onesimus is concerned.

SUMMARY

Paul found himself in a difficult situation of potential conflict.  What was he to do about a run-away slave who had become a Christian and very dear to himself as well?

What did he do?
He prayed - for the situation and for the people involved.
He gave thanks to God for the person that Philemon was.
He let Philemon know how much he was genuinely appreciated.
He assured Philemon of the change in Onesimus - he didn't try to whitewash what Onesimus had done, or make excuses for him
He appealed to Philemon's principles as a Christian.
He trusted Philemon to do the right thing.
Most of all.. Paul trusted that God would see that both Philemon's and Onesimus's interests were provided for.

Paul did what he could and then left it confidently in God's hands.

A good model for all of us to follow.